Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving

I was going to not go to a family party today, but I've been feeling a lot better so I'm gonna go. I've been very um... hormonal lately.
My thyroid test came back fine and it's exciting to start thinking about getting pregnant. HOpefully, my hormones will be all straightend out in a couple months.
I might start tutoring a little boy next week, but this time I"m demanding pay. I'll still be a home care aide (mostly cleaning), but I'm glad to be getting a more fulfilling extra job. Plus, I'll be doing the tutoring out in the community, and that always helps me.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Tami Green, anyone?

I found out about this amazing, speaker, adovate, and person with BPD while surfing youtube. Anyone with BPD or who has a loved one with BPD must check her out!

Update-whine time

I haven't blogged for a bit )I had been writing everyday. But, I'm extremely distressed. I think I have bronchitis again. THis is the second time this year. I went to the doctor Monday and I wnat to call them back to get some more pills and hve them listen to my chest, but I don't wqant to seem like a hypochonriac. I saw the nurse practitionor and it was very triggering. I was still upset when I saw my therpist Friday. I didn't want to get up today and participate in the day, but finally got up around 2pm. My husband is off work 'til the 30th and has lots of good plans, but once I start doing something, I have a cough attack. I don't want to make the couphing worse by going to the gym. I know it could be worse-I could be born without legs or have lung cancer. I'm just in the pits right know is all.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Feeel like crap

why? respiratory infection, mounting bills, had to see the bitch doctor, broke off part of my tooth while flossing-can't see dentist 'cause I'm sick, OCD is getting to me-'cant go to gym and get rid of the OCD anxiety 'cause sick, can't go to work to make money 'cause sick, right boob kills-?
I think I'll have a good cry.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

It Made My Day

I found this really funny website called "IT Made My Day." You'll have to check it out.Here

Friday, November 13, 2009

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday, Brenda!!!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Stumbled , but didn't fall

I had a bad day yesterday. Today, however, I'm doing a lot better. It's a wonder how doing thirty minutes of cardio at the gym can make you feel. I also did it early in the morning, before work, which helps too. I"m still upset that I've got these small scabs on my face from my electrolisis apt, but I'm puttin on the Neosporin and trying not to worry about how it looks too much. Anywho, I'm up and awake and doin stuff. So, go me! :)

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Sorry, but

I am borderline and upset and sad and angry and sad again. Here goes some more msuic, blog therapy. I"ve been blog surfing and saw this on "Clinically Clueless" and this song really speaks to me at the moment.

in a slight funk

I'm just hanging out at home. My finding my identity thing is really challenging right now. I got a bit triggered last night. Damn BPD. I'm irritated because I can't get into my Webkinz account. I don't want to go to the gym because I had electrolisis done yesterday. I don't want to go out, 'cause all my pants are either dirty or need buttons put on. I'm just bummin with no energy. Hopefully, it will lift. ugg.

Friday, November 6, 2009


I asked my therpaist today if I could see her in two weeks instead of next week. I've been seeing her once a week so far. She said that we could try it and find out how things go. This is a challenge for me for a few reasons. I have to now be super-uber mindful and on my game. Make myself go to the gym, beware of my emotions, and stay away from my triggers-these are a must. The place I go to for therapy is a private facility, so they don't have a crisis line or anything like that. Tuesday night was really difficult, and I thought all my work was going to go down the toilet. However, I recovered and grew from it.
I hope I can do it-work really hard on my borderline these next two weeks, but I feel pretty positive about it, which always helps.

Thursday, November 5, 2009


I"ve been going to the gym and taking care of myself. I am a lot happier than I've beeen in a long while and me likey. Part of my borderline therpay is slowing down and doing things for myself. I tell ya, it's really helping. Even my relationships with other people are improving. The trick is, though, that I have to keep it up. That's the hard part, so I have to work hard.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Adult ADHD?

I was thinking about this lately-maybe I have it. It is sooo hard for me to slow down. I get distracted easily and it seems like I always have five things on my mind, unless I make a conscious effort to take my time and slow the heck down.

Or maybe I've had these symptoms lately 'casue I've been on the ole wonderful emotional borderline rollercoaster for so long. Something to think about.