Friday, July 30, 2010

so much anxiety!

I am stuggling with a huge case of anxiety and nerves right now. I think I can pinpoint some of it to having to deal with some certain people again. I hope that is all it is. I hope this clomid isn't making me completely crazy.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

It's HOt!

It's waay hot! Also, my Prisiq makes me super hot and sensitive to the sun anyway, so yeah, I feel like I am having hot flashes. I start Clomid tom. and hope I only have to take one dose (a la preggors). On another note, I am getting baptized next week.

Friday, July 23, 2010

I wish

I had anorexia bulimia so people would actually want to sleep with me and I could pull off lingerie.

Will opt to blog instead of cutting

I am like a pale, oompa loompa ontop of my husband during sex. HOw the fuck did I get so god damn fat? I was so horribly feeling alone today that I opted to have dinner with my parents. My mom is so stuck up and judgmenetal , I can't stand the sound of her voice, but yes, that was how goddamn lonely I was.
I hate our house. We went from a bigger town to a town of like 1200 people. Everyone knows everyone else and their business. They won't help me one fucking bit while I am struggling to mow the yard. It's like sorry we don't drink and aren'[t Cathoilidc and don't sleep with our neighbors , but can I please have a fucking hand? They all mock me on their retarded riding mowers. I hate this goddamn red neck small fuck up the ass place so goddamn mkuch and our kids, ya know if a fucking miracle happens and we actually concieve that is, will hate this place and hate us for buying this fucking house.
i can't put shit on a goddamn resume to get a job I am proud of. My self esteem is like one thousand below a goddamn porta potty in Haiti. I have this pain in my stomache and my doctor, his nurses, the doctor's assistant and the secretary are all fucking idiots. I don't know anything I am dumb as fuck and pathetic. Fuck , I can't even get the goddamn neighbor boy to mow our yard.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Dear fill in the blank,

Since you can't even take care of yourself, stop fucking having children already. YOU are an idiot and I hate you.