Spring...

has sprung! I'm feeling good and went on a bike ride. There are buds of flowers starting to come up all over the yard. I think this summer will be a lot better than last. I struggle with summer depression, but since this will be our second year at the house, I'm sure it will be smoother. Our tv broke. It's either one thing or another, but I'm getting a lot more used to being a home owner now. We are saving our money for emergencies and paying with cash instead of using the credit card. We have a lot of work ahead of us concerning the yard, but it'll keep us busy, and hopefully I can lose some more weight! Happy wishes!

Stand UP for mental illness

I have a smiley face!!!!

I was thinking of calling some family members and telling them about the news of my ovulation, but then thought it would be weird. (ya think? ha ha) So, why not blog it, eh? After a week or so of having a plain circle after peeing on the ovulation detector stick, I have a smiley face, yes! I'm so happy the first round of Clomid worked, now the hard, err fun part, err lol.
I got a call from the lady that I was supposed to have the nanny interview with today and she checked into daycare rates, so she's having second thoughts about hiring someone in their home. Daycare is only 27 dollars a day. I am asking for fifty. I hope she reconsiders, but she'll talk with her husband about it and call me back in a few days. But, I have a smiley face finally, and that rocks!

Goals.

Goals have always been important to me and my mental health. I've decided to make a few. For example, Before I start to review a new lesson in my class course, I am going to write in my planner when I will have my quiz for that lesson each week. I am also looking for a pt job besides my homecare job. I plan to rock my nanny interview tom. 'cause it's perfect, but If I don't get it, I will keep on looking for something else that will be good for me (one on one care, low stress, etc.) Hubby and I also plan to start walking and biking this fall. I also need to play more with Ribbon. I'm so glad summer is almost over. I hope we start to have cooler weather.

Good Stuff

I just did my first quiz and got an A!!! I also have a job interview Monday for a pt Nanny. All good.

The Dad Life rap (awesome)!

Tee hee!

Pic of Ribbon

Ribbon is finally home!

We got the cat today. First she had to get surgery because there was a crystal in her urine. So, I had to wait. Then when I went to pick her up yesterday, right before I put her in her kitty carrier, I noticed that she had taken out her stitches, so I had to rush to the vet and wait until today. Because of the stitches incident, she is wearing "the cone of shame", which she hates, but she gets the stitches out in ten days or so. She is a very good cat and very loving. I think she will do wonders for my mood and boredom. I hope Hubby is glad we got a cat. He said he is, but I still wonder. I tried to upload a pic of her on my camera phone to my computer, but it didn't work , so pics are to come. Wish me and Ribbon luck. :)

In order to lose weight...

buy a house! Ha! I lost ten pounds since we've been in the new house! I think it has to do with the moving and cleaning and just having a larger living area. I have to go downstairs and into the garage to do laundry and we don't have a t.v. on the first floor. I've become such a couch potato at the apartment. Plus, we have so much more responsiblities. Good move, pigtails, good move. I have yet to buy a lawnmower, but Hubby wants to be in on the purchase and the mowing will help my chubby tummy, too.

Trazodone

Interesting. I've cut my dose in half. Now I take 25mg. It makes me really sleepy in the morning, but I bought some soda. I'm still taking it, though 'cuz it decreases my appetite (awesome). Oddly, it increases my libido, too, which makes Hubby happy, but whatever. I'm just glad I'm not eating everything in sight. Oh, and I haven't been "borderline" for a long time (a good week). I've cut down stressors-not going to bible study and subbing at the schools. I think this has helped. Since we're in the process of getting our house, we had the inspection last Friday, we've beeen really busy doing house stuff. I think decreasing the extra stressors was a really good idea (thanks M), since buying a house can be very overwhelming. I see my pdoc Tuesday and am going to talk to her about increasing my Pristiq. My summer depression aka reverse S.A.D. is kicking in and I want to do stuff like plant a garden and play basketball this summer, dammit! Peace Out.

I haz a happee?

I feel so much better and I think it's becasue i've just endured a week away from my enabling mother, henceforth-giving me my self esteem, courage, self motivation, and empowerment back! It's been a while since I've felt this good and the horrible week I've had of trying to deal without her has soooo been worth it. I can do things by myself. I can do things for myself. I can.

update

got my period, so the two weeks of horror are finally over! And we are house hunting! It's very exciting and I am finally feeling better!

funny stuff

update

it is cold and has snowed a couple inches. My boss said tonot come into work today 'cuz the roads are bad and the kids don't have school today. 'tom I go to have an assessment with the new ploace to see my old pdoc. It's a long drive and I hope the interstate is more cleared off. Anyway, I'm stuck inside, but I'm keeping myself busy-playing on the computer, cleaning, etc. I'm so happy I'm much calmer and happier than I've been in a olong while. I've really been working on things, especially my bpd-the finding your identity part, being happpy, etc. Yeah!

Thanks B.B. for the craft gift!

made by me on Girlsense.com

Stumbled , but didn't fall

I had a bad day yesterday. Today, however, I'm doing a lot better. It's a wonder how doing thirty minutes of cardio at the gym can make you feel. I also did it early in the morning, before work, which helps too. I"m still upset that I've got these small scabs on my face from my electrolisis apt, but I'm puttin on the Neosporin and trying not to worry about how it looks too much. Anywho, I'm up and awake and doin stuff. So, go me! :)

Challenge

I asked my therpaist today if I could see her in two weeks instead of next week. I've been seeing her once a week so far. She said that we could try it and find out how things go. This is a challenge for me for a few reasons. I have to now be super-uber mindful and on my game. Make myself go to the gym, beware of my emotions, and stay away from my triggers-these are a must. The place I go to for therapy is a private facility, so they don't have a crisis line or anything like that. Tuesday night was really difficult, and I thought all my work was going to go down the toilet. However, I recovered and grew from it.
I hope I can do it-work really hard on my borderline these next two weeks, but I feel pretty positive about it, which always helps.

Busy

I"ve been going to the gym and taking care of myself. I am a lot happier than I've beeen in a long while and me likey. Part of my borderline therpay is slowing down and doing things for myself. I tell ya, it's really helping. Even my relationships with other people are improving. The trick is, though, that I have to keep it up. That's the hard part, so I have to work hard.