Monday, September 28, 2009


I'm getting a new therapist and a new pdoc. The place I was going to changed their billing policy, so basically I can't afford them anymore; which is okay. I'm really not worried about the changes. I usually have a good relationship with any therapist I go to. And also, I know that with my BPD, it's mostly work I gotta do on my own, a therapist isn't there to "fix me." Peace and Hugs. Steph

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Friday, September 25, 2009

Uber cute

check it out (one of my fav. songs)
so cute!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

more art therapy then

Art therapy

Scrub then walls, borderlines.

Yes, I felt that bad- decided to scrub my walls with water and spic and span, I seriously thought the pdoc was joking when he first told me that in the psych ward, but it really helps-to go beyond the pain. I've had such a bad time lately with my bpd, mostly anger and abandonment issues, but his advice helped and I shall do it again. I also exercised, until it hurt.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Gotta scream!

Obgyn told us to stop trying 'cause I'm on klono;in. Hard to take at first, but then talked about adoption with Hubby. But....I am 5 days late on by period and I"m freaking out. I'mm waiting for Hubby to return with preg test and reduced my Klonopin by .5 mg and am already withdrawing. I hope for the first time since I got off the birth contro that I"m NOT pregnant. I"ve tried to get off of Klonopin before, and it was horrrible. I can't believe my pcoc(now retired) said a category D pill was okay! OMG! I'm flipping out. If I am preggo, I"m gonna call the psych ward right away and get a pdoc's advice on how to get off the damn klonop;in. I might even go there and "check myself in." I don't want to hurt my baby , but I also am afraid of withdrawal. Say a prayer.

Friday, September 11, 2009


still have allergies (achoo!)
see the obgyn in two and a half hours (I'm very nervous) scared he'll tell me I"m infertile. Hoping he tells me I'm pregnant. Crossies

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Haz allergies

do not like! I work tom, too (Erg!)

Monday, September 7, 2009

Crazy bitch on the loose

I am PMDDing all over the place. Someone-call a priest to perform an exorcism. Oh, look -a butterfly.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Feeling better and other stuff

I felt bad about haing my husband watch the kids in the nursery at our church without me this morning, but my throat was killing me. It feels much better now, but I feel really lazy. WE also skipped my uncle's party since it was right after church.
Our two year anniversary is on Tuesday! It feels like we've been married longer than that and sometimes it feels like we just got married last week. It's hard to explain. We're trying for a baby and I see the obgyn Friday, but if I don't get pregnant by next year, I'm thinking about adopting internationally. My mom couldn't get pregnant for eight years and I have ovarian cysts like she did, but I don't have eight years to wait and see what happens. That's all for now.

Saturday, September 5, 2009


Itchy, watery eyes, sore throat, tired (NOt fun!)
I hope I feel better tom. My uncle is having a party. I babysat the nieceypoos today and last night. I'm glad to be home.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

I can't wait for my flowers to die

I know, weird, but it's true. Summer depression sucks and I'm finally feeling some relief. Having more energy , doing stuff around the house, getting more ideas. I don't like to be freezing and driving on ice, but I"m glad I"m finally getting some of my oomf back.

Hubby thought this was hilarious....

He's gonna send it to all his coworkers (They all work in cubicles heehe)

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

I'm baaack!

Yes! I survived the summer! No stays in the psych ward for me, just a lot of phone calls to crisis numbers. So, that's a big accomplishment. I got a new job in the middle of July as a personal assistant and I couldn't hope for a better job environment, boss, etc. (me very happy!) Still not preggors, but seeing a doctor, well two docs-a obgyn and one that does Neurolink. I'm trying to put the pressure off about the whole baby thing. (very difficult at times) I'm really working on the church thing and increasing my faith. HUbby got a raise and our two year anniversary is this month! That's all for now. Happy thoughts.