A conversation

"I'm bored."

"Then,go play or, you can help me was windows."

"I hate washing windows."

"Then go play."

"I can't"

"Why?"

"Because I can't"

"why can't you?"

"The other kids don't want me in the clubhouse."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why? Did you even ask?"

"No, but-"

"Go ask. You can't just say they don't want you to play if you don't ask."

"They won't. I just know it."

"NO, you don't know it. They might let you play. How are you ever gonna make friends if you don't go ask? They might like you. You don't know. Now go ask."

Then, the misunderstood, little girl picked up the nearest potted plant and threw it at her mother. She got five spankins for it.

More music therapy

Dear mom,
I hate you so much! rot in hell. You made me a bad person.
But, Please never give up on me and always call me back when I leave a message. I need you.

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"borderline" song? Reminds of the book title " I hate you-don't leave me"

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from: Not Very Talented.com

"you must be this tall to ride"

Yep, I've definitely jumped on the emotional roller coaster. Actually, I've been on it awhile. My triggers have included: not getting my period, my hormones being screwed up, being mad at myself for not losing weight, and having bronchitis, being isolated, and feeling lonely and unvalidated.
But, I think the first step for me to get off of it is to admit (gulp), I have been reacting like a six-year old. I am "borderline moody" and impulsive.
I HATE having to admit that. I've been blaming so many ohter things and other people for behaving the way I have. I haven't slown down to really acknowledge that I have the ability to control how I react to things.
Maybe, now I can begin that journey of trying to get off the roller coaster and find some peace.
I'll keep you updated.

Couldn't Sleep and was wondering...

Why???????????????????????????

Dearest parental units,

Mom,
We are never going to paint together from the Donna Dewberry book unless you learn the S.E.T. therapy method. You are my biggest bpd trigger, but won't learn shit about the diagnosis and you still think you have all the answers. Guess what? Having BPD doesn't make me a horrible person, even when I'm struggling. You are a stubborn pain in the ass, so we can't be friends. I will see you on the holidays and/or when the girls come over. Good bye and good luck

Dad,
YOu have bronchitis. Going to work will make it worse. Stop being such an asshat and take a week off-don't go to Nean's to work-rest. Working will only make it worse. It could even turn into pneumonia. Do you want that? You are even contagious. You are stubborn and proud and you piss me off. Grrrr.