what to do

Well, it's mmy niece's bday party today. Meaning , my huge triggers will be there (my family), so I decided to go early and help set up, then give my neiceypoo her present, then get the heck out of there before anyone else comes. Sounds like a plan to me.
I've also decided to get back into aide subbing. I'm really missing it, even though I can't get my Serouqual nap in, but it'll be really healthy for me.
My husband mentioned last night that he felt hurt when I'd call my mom for advice instead of asking him. I had no idea I was hurting him. I apologized and I think it's ok now.

Happy Valentine's Day

My plans? lunch and a movie with hubby, oh, and trying to get out from this hellish borderline rubble I've got myself in (aka :try to be content, get my happy back, think positive, work on hobbies, less stress).

Apologies Accepted?

Well, after much emotional torture, I am NOT pregnant. I want a baby so bad , I can taste it, but I talked to my doctor's nurse today and she said that since I've beeen on birth control for over five years, it may take up to six months until I have a normal cylce and start ovulating. She said to just relax and forget about the ovulation testing and get my mind on other things. After researching the web and taling to everyone else but a professional about getting pregnant, I feel releived to have heard from her and am going to take her advice.
I've been driving myself and loved ones crazy with my borderline symtoms. And thinking I might be pregnant hasn;t helped. I need to get my mindfullness" on and get on with my life. Maybe even apologizze for my behavior.

update

haven't posted for a while. didn;t feel like writing about the times I've been down and uM, I also had a cutting incindent. But, on the upside, I think I amy be pregnant! And this mommy (soon to be) is living helthier than ever (exercisining in the morning, taking vitamins, being "mindful" of emotions) I think that the idea that someone is grwoing inside of you really makes you start to take control of things. My husband and I are very excited and please have us in your prayers.
Also, I"m getting lots of calls about my tutoring gig.