Facebook and Triggers

Well, I love Facebook because I'm so shy in public and it's easy to chat online. It's also nice to feel "in the loop" by seeing what other people are up too. However, I can get triggered by seeing people from when I was little. Do other bpds get triggered by seeing people from their youth?

My bad

Yep, it's completely my fault-the reason i feel like crap. I chose to not get up out of bed today. I was the one who chose to go back to sleep after I was up after two hours and go back to sleep 'til 7:45pm. Yep.

No wonder...

worried hubby will die in his sleep, stressed, depressed: all because I forgot to take my morning meds. Great. How will I ever make it?

I feel so empty.

I had been taking ritalin to keep me awake, but coming off of it was too much for me. I'd feel really shaky and anxious. I didn't work today. I feel so empty, so worthless, and so alone. I don't know what to do.

Feeling Down...

Is summer over yet? God, it's soo friggin hot! I feel shitty and I have little motivation. I make myself walk in the morning before work, but that's about it ( I only work 7 hours a week). ugghhh

Haven't blogged for a bit...

So, here goes: I'm still struggling with my mood (mostly the depression). HOwever, since my med increase, the self harm thoughts and the paranoia are practically gone. I"m just trying to make it through the summer. I'm trying to not be too hard on myself-just be happy that I can make it to work , then go home and nap.
I know when fall gets here, I'll be feeling much better. I might try working more this fall, too(something I've been really thinking about).
Anywho, that's about it.

Update

I've had to up my Seroqual to 300 mg (the highest dose I take.) I'm pretty sure things are bad because of the summer weather. My ocd has been driving me mad, I've been extra sensitive and paranoid. Self harm thoughts have been so strong lately, also. Last night, I was checking out stuff about selective mutism and bam- bpd trigger (ugh). The Hubs practically forced me to increase it (the Seroqual)last night, so I feel a little better today.
I'm making myself walk every day before work and I've started eating healthier. I know this will also make me feel better.
Our AC is on the fritz so that's been on my mind. Plus the guy that looked at it was super creepy. The Hubs will be there next time he fixes the part(thank God).

Oh, and I luuuv my online bpd class.